May 26, 2011

I am sure every reader has been anxiously awaiting my next blog post!  I can dream, can't I?  Well, to be honest, I have been anxiously waiting as well.  Waiting to be inspired to share something AMAZING.  To document some major life event, even just be excited about something.  It's like I have writers block or something.  I don't want to let my readers down. But, sadly, my life just isn't that exciting lately.  To many, that is probably a good thing and I see the positives in it, but Travis has such a dynamic blog and it is hard for me to not compete with others.  It's in my nature!  Hence, the following....

My pastor spoke this past Sunday about the trap of "people pleasing" and how we should really be about "God pleasing" instead.  It was a great message and I definitely needed to hear it.  I am not necessarily a "people-pleaser".  I am pretty good at standing my ground and speaking up when I don't agree.  I don't let too many people or things intimidate me.  However, the conviction came when he started talking about the people who expect to be pleased!  OUCH!  Yep, you got it.  That's where I was stung!!  I don't know if it's the educator in me or my up-bringing, or what, but I have VERY HIGH EXPECTATIONS!!  Pretty much for every person I come in contact with.  I expect great things!  I expect my students to be respectful and work hard to be successful.  I expect Tyler (my son) to behave appropriately at ALL times.  I expect my husband to be my dreamy ideal husband ALL the time (who am I kidding?  he always is ;o)  I expected my parents to be happy and raise perfect children and our family to be a model for the world.  I expect my friends to make good decisions.  I expect all people to not use profanity.  Can you tell that this could get a little out of hand?  In education we are taught that if we hold high expectations, the students will RISE to the occasion.  As much as this may be true...I have found that the higher my expectations are in life, the BIGGER my disappointments are in life.  I can honestly say that I have never met a single person in my 34 years that has not in some way disappointed me.  They most likely did NOT do it on purpose...but they did it.  Guess what?  I've disappointed MANY MANY people in my life too!  We're human!  I've even had expectations for God and HE disappointed me too!  Isn't that just awful!!??  Who am I to say what God should do for me?  God knows best!  I know that in the end, I will NOT be disappointed.  Thank goodness!  Can you imagine me showing up in heaven and it not meeting MY expectations?  HAHAHAHAH!! But I tell you, sometimes I feel that way.  Like I will never be pleased.  Why is that?  It's not all selfishness.  I want what's best for my friends and family.  I want everyone to be working to be their best at all times.  I want everyone to get along.  I do not want Tyler to struggle in life. I do not want him to be a bully or to be bullied, I don't want him to call names or be called names.  I want him to read on a 3rd grade level tomororw (ok, by next week) but you see all of this leads to disappointment.  What will happen if I am not "pleased" with these situations?  Will life, as we know it, end?  (maybe in October??) 

That is why I am so nervous about this blog.  I hold such high expectations for everyone else, that it makes me not want to do things for others because I know my expectations and I imagine that everyone else has the same nature.  I do not want to disappoint.  So as a humbling experience I am sharing this with all of you.  I am praying everyday that I will see the "good" in people.  That I will make my business Godly business and not people-pleasing business.  I pray that I will give everyone a much needed break and be happy (as much as it depends on me) with whatever God sends my way!  I will recognize the "human" in all of us and try to throw a little grace out there for everyone. 

Don't worry about Tyler...I know he will misbehave...trust me!  He is NOT perfect!  I know he will bully and be bullied, he won't read by next week and I'm sure he'll even use profanity at some point when I'm not around!  I know that his struggles will make him stronger!  I am praying daily for guidance in raising a son who is absolutely in LOVE with Jesus and covered in God's grace!  That way, when the trials come that not even I can help him with, he'll be ok! 

Thanks for spending this time with me.  I hope it was worth it.  But even if it wasn't, I am not disappointed :)

To run or not to run...

So, a few months ago, my loving husband thought it would be a great idea to register BOTH of us for the PEACHTREE ROAD RACE (10K) lottery!  Well, guess what?  We BOTH got in!  Yes, as it stands now, I am scheduled to run a 10K on the 4th of July in Atlanta, GA.  My current thoughts on that are "NO WAY!"  But a few weeks ago, I was pumped and ready to start training.  I have run a couple of 5K's but 6.2 miles...that's a new story!  I don't think of myself as a runner.  I do NOT enjoy sweating and unfortunately, if you run for any amount of time, you sweat!  I'm running out of time to train for this event.  (no pun intended)

I started training and I don't know what happened,other than life.  It got hot outside, I got bored, I have a 4 year old....the list goes on.  However, if I don't get my butt in gear, I'm going to look like a fool come July!   Please understand, I do not intend on breaking any records or anything, I'll just be glad to finish.  But out of 55,000 runners, I'd rather not come in last place.  Right now, it would be a good idea just to get out there and start moving again...I'll be sure to let you know when that happens.  Better sooner than later. 

I ran for a good while about a year ago.  It was nice.  I enjoyed it.  I had a decent trainer and I started in a season of cool days and I was able to run right after work.  BEFORE I went home and got comfortable and lazy.  I felt great!  I had more energy, I was happier, more tolerant....why can't just the memory of those feelings be enough to get me going again?   I have all the great gear, gadgets, and running stuff you could imagine.  Travis runs!  He enjoys it!  He runs a 5K almost 3 times a week like it's nothing.  He even does it on a treadmill most of the time!  That's just crazy!  The treadmill seems SOOOO boring.  But outside around here is just not practical.  We can't just walk out our door and start running.  We live on a major hwy and the hills (I'd say mountains) are a bit strenuous.  I guess if I had a REALLY good TV show to watch, the treadmill would be a possibility.  Hmmmmm...  Of course, 6.2 miles on a high school track doesn't sound that much better.  

I'll try to keep you posted on my progress and I welcome any advice and encouragement :)  After all, isn't that what this blog is for? 

What's gotten into me???

Well, what can I say?  I took the plunge!  I've started a BLOG!!!  I can't imagine where this is going to take me,but I've had a lot of time to think lately and I need to start writing it out so I can sleep at night :)  If you decide to follow this blog, I will not make any promises.  I have NO idea about the content.  I imagine some days it will be an outlet for whatever is bothering me at the moment and other days just a "heads-up" about what's going on in my life.  I bet some recipes will pop up on here every now and then as well as some pleas for parenting advice.  For now...this is my attempt at documenting my growth (spiritual, intellectual, parental, spousal, etc.) in a somewhat tangible way.  Stay tuned! (if you dare)